It's NOT "All About the He Says She Says B*******t"!

ARRRGHH! Today at Enchanted Woodwork I found a note which had been placed on my desk while I had been busy working at the Mystical Circle-Saw. When I read it I couldn't believe my be-spectacled eyes! A letter from my long-dead parents asking me to meet them after class by Hagrid's hut! Once the bell had rang I raced out to see them, eager to be held. And, sure enough, there they were... I couldn't believe it, exactly like in the photograph I carry with me everywhere & look at non-stop - my long-dead parents. I started bawling immediately & ran towards them. That's when I noticed something odd. They were both wearing Limp Bizkit T-shirts just like the ones those lunatics Crabbe & Goyle wear all the time. It was about then that they started laughing. And pointing. Those clowns Crabbe & Goyle had used Polyjuice Potion to turn into my dead parents to laugh & point at me and I hate them I hate them I HATE THEM!!! Then that Draco Malfoy jumped out from behind a tree & got me with a Wedgie Jinx. ARRRGHH! Perhaps I should have known when my name was spelt 'HaRi poTa' on the note. Maybe Hermione's right, maybe I am dim after all...